Why not being maternal is ok

I was never that child who loved playing with dolls and pretending I was a mum. In fact from the tender age of 11, I always use to proudly state that my ambition was being a journalist. I'll give myself a pat on the back for making that come true. Babies didn't even enter my mind. I've never been one to coo over newborns either. Truth be told, I'm a little scared of them and they sense it. As soon as they sit on my lap, the waterworks start. Give me a dog? I'll turn to mush. Especially when I see a puppy. I can fully get on board with being dog broody.

I'm not even sure that I want to be a mum. I've worked extremely hard on my education and my career that I'm in no hurry to take a step back.  I come from a line of women who don't like kids. My nan and mum both lack the maternal gene. But they make amazing mothers. Go figure? For some reason some people just cannot grasp that idea. I've been told that I'm depriving my boyfriend – he once mentioned he'd rather jack in the kids malarky and travel the world. I've been told I'm doing the world a disservice and it's my role as a woman to reproduce. I've been given condescending advice that I should just wait. My clock will soon be ticking and I'll have a sudden urge. I've been told I don't know what I'm missing out on. I've been told I don't know what I'm talking about at my age. 

I might very well change my mind. I could reach 30 and have the sudden urge to reproduce. I look and mine and my mum's amazing relationship and long for that myself. But do you know what? It's ok to not want to bring a child into the world. It doesn't make you less of a woman. You don't lose your femininity simply because you don't want to give birth. It's not the be all and end all if you don't ever hear the word mum. Don't be made to feel bad just because you prefer to have a career over raising a family. The beauty of the world is you should be who you want to be.


  1. Great post - everyone should read this! I completely agree that women shouldn't be defined in relation to whether they want children or have children and they are every part as feminine and a 'whole woman' as a woman who has a child.

  2. preach, being a childless woman doesn't mean your a failure. I will never change my mind about not wanting a child. If a partner of mine ever really wanted one and felt like his life was incomplete without one I would foster. There are plenty of children already born who need my help.

    You summed it up with 'you should be who you want to be'

  3. Love this post. I feel exactly the same, and now on the other side of 30, nothing has changed. I LOVE my nephew but certainly don't want my own one... Give me a dog any day though :) !!

    Also, I feel like there's more than enough little ones roaming this planet without me needing to produce anymore.

    Rosie xx

  4. Good for you to be so refreshingly honest. Up until about ten years I hated kids, they actually just annoyed me and I would get the same thing 'oh you will change your mind one day' 'thats a selfish way to live' etc etc which is downright rude. I would never question why someone didnt have kids how do you know there isnt a medical reason or something? Infuriates me. I am the wrong side of 30 now, not in a relationship and want nothing more than to settle down and have a family but I would never criticise anyone for not wanting a child. You are being unselfish as you know thats not what you want so you wouldnt be bringing a child into the world for the benefit of others. Go you! xxx

  5. I think it's awful that you've been made to feel like it isn't your choice, when it completely is! While I'd quite like to have children someday I have several friends who have decided it won't be a facet of their life and I think everyone should have the right to choose without feeling made to feel like they're doing the world a disservice - never let anyone make you feel bad, Sophie. Your body, your choice :) - Tasha

  6. You are brave for speaking your mind, being your own woman and making your own choices despite societies expectations. :) xoxo


  7. Yes, this post 100% reflects my feelings on this topic! I do love babies and (well-behaved) children but I won't change my mind about not wanting a child and that's OK too!

    Maria xxx

  8. Totally agree with this - I have no desire to have a child and yet strangers think its ok to tell me that I'll "change my mind" and that I "do really want one". I definitely would not get the same sort of comments if I were a man not wanting kids! x

  9. Great post .. I totally agree with what you say.
    Lovely refreshing post and blog. x

    Katie Loves ~ A Fashion & Beauty Blog.

    Follow on Bloglovin' ~ 'Katie Loves'

  10. you tell 'em sophie, i'm so sick of people asking me about children, it's none of their business x

    Bow Dream Nation


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