Letting go of friendships

Friends are one of the best things in the world. If you pick them right, they can even become like family. But friends can also cause a lot of anxiety and stress.

As I've got older I've become very good at letting friendships go. If they're not making me happy, then I cut ties. A friend shouldn't be hard work. You shouldn't come away from a lunch feeling emotional about the way it has gone. Even if you don't see them for months on end, it should be like you've never spent a moment apart once you meet up again.

Friendships can very quickly become toxic. They can quickly make you feel worthless and upset. You deserve better. It takes two people to make a friendship work - it isn't always down to you to keep it afloat. Just because you've been friends with someone for years, it doesn't mean they should always be in your life. I'm a firm believer that some friends just aren't forever. People move at a different pace to one another. As you grow older, you change. Your interests, outlook on life and opinions change over time. I'm a very different person to when I was 18 to what I am now at the grand age of 26. Just because you're not getting on now, it doesn't mean you should feel like the friendship is a waste. You may have had five years of laughs but it's gone past it's sell-by-date.

But once you find a group of people who make you feel happy, who are easy to be around and who are always on the end of a phone ready to listen to your quarter-life crisis, make sure you hold on tight and never let go.  Those ones are keepers. It's much better to have a handful of solid good friends than lots of alright friends who couldn't really care if you're having a rough time at work.

Don't be afraid to say no more. No friendship is worth having if it makes you always second guess yourself and stops being fun. You deserve to be treated how you treat other people.

14 comments:

  1. Ahhh this post really resonates with me at the moment, I think it's definitely true what they say about growing older and realising who your true friends are. I'm 24 and still finding out! Completely agree that if they make you unhappy, cause you stress, then let go. Life's too short! Just hold on to the special friends :)

    franleanne.blogspot.co.uk

    x

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  2. This is so true and something I need to live by too. <3
    emmerliejay x

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  3. I've been pretty lucky that I have a couple of tight group of friends and we all get on famously still! But I am a bit wary sometimes of when friendships have the potential to go sour.

    Saskia / girlinbrogues.com

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  4. This is so true, but is something I've found pretty hard to accept. I have had to call time on a couple of friendships from school days, which really weren't going anywhere. It's sad, because I felt mean - in one instance my friend wasn't toxicand hadn't don't anything wrong, I just felt that we really didn't have anything in common anymore and going for food with her just became a chore and really exhausting to try and find things to talk about.

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  5. This couldn't have come at a better time for me reading this. I'm having a really difficult time coming to terms with the loss of friendship lately. Loss sounds dramatic, but when you believe in somoene and share so much of your life with them - to realise you are not the same people you once were and absolutely have nothing in common it's really sad.
    But like you say - it's normal. And the anxiety and stress are not worth it.
    Thank you for writing this x x x

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  6. Amen. It's trickier the longer you've known someone, but more often than not they have their doubts too (even though they may be in denial about it) xx

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  7. It was SO lovely to see you at the weekend, a much needed catch up! I know the feeling on this but you have to put yourself first <3

    Maria xxx

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  8. Great post. Really well said. Friendships should be fun and not a struggle and if it's becoming a chore, it may be better to step away. Lianne x
    Rubyrubyslippers.blogspot.com

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  9. Well said lovely. I couldn't agree more. I'm writing something similar in a post tomorrow after having spent such a lovely weekend with you guys :)

    When I move to London we have to hang all the time okay!! xx

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  10. I have had the worst week trying to please everyone! Your words have truly hit home. At 32 I can't believe how people still act like we're in high school.x

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  11. I totally agree, it can make you so amazingly stressed and you just get to a point where you just can't so the one sided thing anymore. Xx

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  12. I can 100% relate to this but I have yet to do anything about it. glad to know i'm not the only person who feels like this x

    Bow Dream Nation

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